Dinner

I took Dad to dinner last night. I miss him and haven't gotten to sit and talk with him for a while. It was nice to sit and talk. I talked to him about work and home and asked how things were going on all fronts and how he is dealing with things. I was also very interested with how he felt after going back to work. I am glad he went back to work, it is good for him to have some sort or "normalness". I worry that it is too much but he assures me it is not. I worry about him often - mentally, physically and emotionally. I can't imagine what it is like dealing with death so closely; living with it everyday, sleeping with it every night. I can't imagine what he thinks or feels everyday. It must be such a whirlwind of emotion. In saying that, I want to ask everyone to try to imagine what this might be like. I want everyone to try to be patient and kind to him.

Now, I want to say a few things out of concern but also try to be careful about what I type out of respect for him. I know there have been some recent situations that have made him seem hostile and/or angry (he assures me he is not). I have also noticed differences with him, but I am not sure if it can be attributed it to any one thing. He is on several meds and as I said above I am sure he wrestles with a range of emotions daily, even if not on a conscious level. I said early on that the day he starts losing his humor is the day I will be seriously concerned. Well, the last few times I have seen him his humor seems to be waning, so I am worried.

He is having an MRI on his brain on the 27th. There is some concern that the cancer has spread to his brain. In my research I have found that traditionally lung cancer spreads most often to the bones and brain. I am concerned that it has. If you remember his bone scan, the cancer is already in the base of his skull as well as most of his other bones so it is a short span to cross to his brain. There is a link above to a page about brain cancer - I think you have to click on the dots next to the heading...

Please feel free to post or even email me if you would like. If you click on my name there should be an email link in my profile. As always, please keep Dad in your thoughts and prayers.

Love you Dad!