Finally the sun!

Sunny today, very nice. I think I am finally out of my funk I have been in since Dad died although I miss him a ton sometimes. It just still seems like I can just call him, I still just can't believe he is gone.

We found out my mom broke her leg back in November and they did not/would not do any x-rays no matter how many times we brought it up while she was in the hospital for a week. So now it is completely healed and her leg is crooked and we opted not to fix it. She cannot be in a straight cast for 4-6 months and not be able to work. All the hospital people kept asking is if her leg hurt...well duh, she's a paraplegic! You could cut her foot off and she would only know it if she bled to death. So, the royally screwed up. We made big life decisions from the "diagnosis" they gave her and then to find this out. Non got great scans again, no more for 6 months. We had her 80th bday party in April and it was great. Chris & I picked out a ring and now I am just waiting to get it. Life finally looks pretty good. Work has been super hectic though.

My sister Jennifer got married in February. My sister Samantha got married last weekend. I do feel bad for both of them and Ruth. It was another bitter sweet moment in our lives without him. I don't even know why I am typing on this anyway. Soon it will be time to be done with it.

Have a great summer!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone. This year is definitely better than last year, but that really didn't take much to be honest. My mom was in the hospital for a week and now has a c-pap machine to sleep with. I crashed my truck Saturday night, slid through a stop sign on ice and got hit. I won't get it back for 2 weeks or so. Thankfully the kids were not with me, the wheel and axle took the hit. I am home today with a barfing kid, we were up all night.

All in all it has been a good year. Non got great scans and her 80th b-day party is on for April. We are all fairly healthy. So Merry Christmas all and Have a great New Year's! You too Dad, we all miss you so much.

Unhappy Anniversary

Well, about exactly one year ago I was at Hospice to view and say goodbye to my Dad. This week has been tough, I have spent most of it at the hospital with my mom (having flashbacks of last year) and trying to be strong and help make decisions with her. I guess it is a "distraction" from my thoughts of Dad (albeit not a nice one) but it does make for added stress and emotion.

I miss him more than I thought I would, I grieved for far longer than I thought I would and I still do. I still read jokes and want to forward them. I still have the 2009 Dilbert calendar I bought him for last Christmas unopened on my desk. I have not taken his cell or work number out of my phone yet or erased his email address. I miss him, I am sad today.

Father's Day

Happy early Father's Day to all the dad's out there. Since I really have no one left to celebrate with (no grandfathers in 12 years and now no father) I think Chris' dad will win by default. I can kind of relate how emi felt last year not having a dad, but I could at least tell her we were going to Grampa's house for Father's Day...this year who knows...it will be tough.

I will update you on me life because I was asked to. I turned 35 in May, that was difficult. I feel old. I am trying to get my house up for sale, so I have some things to attend to. I have cut down on my counseling and soon will be done for a while. Emi is done with hers for a while too. We got good news at Non's oncology appointment - her cancer is stable (no growth, nothing new) and the fluid doesn't seem to be building up anymore. So now we go again in 3 months but no scans for 6 months unless there are problems. We had a grad open house for my arizona & U.P. cousins at my gram and it was nice to see them all. Emi got into Forest Hills so that is great, there are more resources for her and her learning disability there. Charlie will start preschool in the fall...we shall see how long he is there before he gets in trouble. He called me a dumpster head last week and fired me several times. Charlie also saw his dad for 30 seconds for the first time in 9 months....he didn't care and had no interest. And I got $1.38 in child support so I plan on putting a down payment on a nice beach cottage...heh.

So that's my life, I am on facebook now so I don't blog much. What going on with yours?

All in all I just want a normal, mundane summer to spend with Chris and my kids because the last three have sucked big time.

time flies

Well, it has been close to 6 months since Dad died. I am finally feeling like I am getting a handle on things. I went to his grave last month and need to go again now that his headstone is there. I went and looked through old picts yesterday and that was kinda sad. I don't really have much to say but thought I would let you know I am still out here. I have been on Facebook too lately and that has helped.

Take care